what I've learned from not having it all together
realities of getting older and mistakes I've made in my twenties
I’ve never been someone who looks forward to birthdays. As a kid, I was shy and introverted, the type who dreaded being the centre of attention. Show-and-tell days in primary school were my worst nightmare when it was my turn to speak. That discomfort never really went away. Even now, I hate when all eyes are on me. The irony, of course, is that I work in marketing and social media, a world that thrives on visibility, and I even create content as a hobby. Contradictory, isn’t it?
One thing that has stayed consistent is that I still can’t stand when people sing “Happy Birthday” to me. Few things feel more awkward than sitting in silence while a roomful of voices points directly at you.
But today is my birthday, and instead of shying away, I thought I’d use it as a moment to reintroduce myself in this little corner of the internet. More than that, I want to share a few confessions and lessons I’ve been gathering so far. Because if I’ve learned anything, it’s that there really isn’t a guidebook for figuring life out.
Turning 26 feels peculiar. It’s an in-between age, caught between twenty and thirty, where I imagined I’d feel more settled. I don’t. I’m still unsure of what exactly I want my life to look like, still learning day by day. As I write this—air diffuser humming in the background, bed unmade beside me—I’m struck by how quickly my twenties have slipped by. Another year older, another chapter nearly complete.
We often treat birthdays as checkpoints for polished reflections, lists of milestones, accomplishments, or hard-won wisdom. But this year, I don’t want to focus on achievements. I want to look at the opposite: the missteps, the doubts, the failures that have shaped me. Because some of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned didn’t come from doing things right, but from stumbling my way through.
And maybe, in sharing those moments, someone reading will feel a little less alone. So here it is, a list of the mistakes I’ve made in my twenties.
things you didn’t know about me
I’m originally from South Africa, but I spent most of my life growing up in Australia.
The most unexpected detour in my life that shaped me was grieving over the passing of my grandmother from COVID. It made me realise how fleeting life is and helped me decide to drop out of university to pursue a job in Korea.
I often experience imposter syndrome at work and while doing content creation.
I still get anxious about travelling solo, even though I’ve lived abroad in Korea by myself and gone on multiple trips by myself.
I’m an avid reader, and when I get invested in a book, it consumes my attention span. I honestly think one of the best purchases I’ve made was an e-reader.
I’ve never really had a ‘dream job.’ To this day, I don’t envision a dream career or aspire to climb the ‘corporate ladder.’
For every new country I visit, I collect a snowglobe. I have over 30 at the moment, which I started collecting as a child.
I got my full-time job in marketing without any formal education in marketing.
I’ve always dreamed of living abroad in Europe.
I taught myself in content creation and photography.
I’ve never been in a relationship, and sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me.
I have an obsession with collecting perfumes.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned about living abroad is truly how big the world is.
I’m not fond of small talk.
I’m a night owl and am most productive during the late hours.
I’m quiet around new people and strangers but chatty with close friends.
My MBTI is INFJ
I’ve always loved classical music since I was a child. It started when I first watched Fantasia and was introduced to different classical composers. It then blossomed when my parents signed me up for ballet classes. I often listen to music by Tchaikovsky.
In case you missed out, you might enjoy these posts from my navigating twenties series.
I asked strangers for their best life-changing habits - here’s what they said
it started as a silly idea and it grew into something bigger
how I’m building a life (and self) worth falling in love with
mistakes I’ve made in my twenties
Your twenties are often painted as the “best years of your life,” but the reality is they’re messy, confusing, and full of trial and error. You’re constantly figuring out who you are, what you want, and where you’re headed. At 26, I’ve made my fair share of mistakes — some small, some that still sting — but all of them have taught me something I couldn’t have learned otherwise.
Here are a few of the biggest lessons from the mistakes I’ve made in this decade:
1. Underestimating the power of small joys
For so long, I lived for the “big” moments — the overseas trips, the career milestones, the life-changing events. While those are wonderful, they’re rare. I forgot that life mostly happens in the little things: my dad’s home-cooked meals, the fact that the beach is only a five-minute drive from my house back in Australia, or even the ritual of brewing my morning tea. I spent too much time chasing milestones and not enough time actually savouring the everyday.
2. Not asking for help sooner
In my early twenties, I equated independence with strength. I believed I had to be completely self-sufficient, even when I was struggling. Whether it was work, friendships, or personal challenges, I carried it all myself. The truth? Leaning on others isn’t weakness — it’s courage. There’s strength in being vulnerable enough to say “I can’t do this alone.”