I prefer to be alone

why I choose to spend time with myself & solo date ideas for every occasion

Mar 10, 2025

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You can’t skip chapters, that’s not how life works. You have to read every line, meet every character. You won’t enjoy all of it. Hell, some chapters will make you cry for weeks. You will read things you don’t want to read, you will have moments when you don’t want the pages to end. But you have to keep going. Stories keep the world revolving. Live yours, don’t miss out.

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Opening Note

I used to be the quiet Asian kid, too scared to raise her hand in class.
Too terrified to give a speech in front of 30 classmates.
Too nervous to eat alone at a restaurant.
Too shy to ask a store clerk for help finding something.

So, what changed?

It took time, but I realised something important: the longest relationship you'll ever have is with yourself. And if you’re always waiting for someone to join you in the things you’ve always wanted to do, you’ll miss out on so much.

Here’s the reality of your twenties: everyone’s lives start to look very different, and it takes more effort to make time for people or prioritise you in your life. Some people are studying at university while living with their parents. Others are working full-time and maybe moving in with a partner. Then there are those who take a leap of faith and move abroad. That last one? That’s me.

The idea of doing things alone once terrified me. If you told my younger self that I’d drop out of university, move to Korea by myself during a pandemic in 2022, and start a new job there, she’d think I was absolutely out of my mind—and maybe a little impressed.

The truth is that learning to be comfortable doing things solo is a process. And now, as I reflect on my time in Korea, I realise just how much I’ve come to enjoy my own company.

My friends back home often asked if I ever felt lonely. Truthfully? I didn’t. My days were filled with exploring new places, indulging in solo cafe dates, and connecting with friends. Loneliness never lingered in my thoughts.

I believe people often mistake loneliness for solitude, but to me, they couldn’t be more different. Solitude is not an absence; it’s a presence—of yourself, your thoughts, and your peace. While loneliness is a feeling of emptiness, isolation, or disconnection. It often stems from a lack of meaningful social connections and can feel heavy or unwanted. Solitude, on the other hand, is a deliberate and positive choice to spend time alone. It is a state of being comfortable with oneself, often fostering reflection, creativity, and peace.

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From a young age, I’ve cherished my own company. As a homebody and an introvert (an INFJ, if that speaks to you), I’ve always been intentional about where I invest my energy. When I spend time with others, it’s because I genuinely value their presence as much as my own. The reality is that there are very few people that I spend time with who don’t drain my social battery.

That said, meeting new people often requires a significant effort, and afterwards, I need time to recharge. But don’t misunderstand—I love fostering new connections, catching up with old friends, and sending long, heartfelt voice messages to the people closest to me. Yet, I equally treasure the quiet, unhurried moments spent in my own company.

So, for today’s newsletter, I’ve curated a list of solo date ideas based on different themes—everything from food and art to wellness and budget-friendly fun. I hope this inspires you to embrace the joy of spending time with yourself and try something new.

Solo Date Ideas

Home Edition

Write a letter to your future yourself while drinking your favourite tea or coffee.
Watch your favourite comfort movie with your favourite snacks.
Watch a movie in a different language.
Learn a new instrument.
Have an at-home paint & stip
Try new outfits in your wardrobe.
Try a new recipe or bake something indulgent, like a decadent dessert.
Learn a new language.
Start journaling your thoughts.
Listen to an audiobook as you clean your house.
Start a new puzzle, adult colouring book or craft project.
Play a board game with yourself.
Write a letter to a loved one.
Try a new craft.
Write a postcard to a loved one.
Create a bucket list.
Redecorate your room.
Organise and declutter your closet.
Scrapbook your favourite memories.
Clean and declutter your house.
Create a vision board for yourself.
Cook yourself a fancy meal.
Play a video game. I love playing Animal Crossing New Horizons on my Nintendo Switch.
Sign up for an online class.
Read a book on your tbr list.
Declutter your phone or laptop. I’m sure your camera roll or downloads folder needs decluttering.

Nature Edition

Take a walk at your local park.
Do some yoga outside.
Plan a solo camping trip.
Spend a day at the beach.
Listen to an audiobook or music as you watch the clouds.
Have a picnic at a park with your favourite book or playlist under the trees.
Journal or draw at a park.
Watch the sunrise or sunset from a serene spot.
Go swimming at your local beach, pool or lake.
Road trip to a national park.
Visit a new park.
Feed birds in your local park.
Go kayaking or paddleboarding.
Go stargazing.
Go wildflower picking.
Take a boat trip.
Take a bike ride.
Take a walk or hike a nature trail.

Art & Culture Edition

Go to a jazz bar.
Attend a musical.
Go to a poetry reading.
Volunteer at your local charity.
Take pictures with a camera or Polaroid. I have always loved taking photos with my Sony camera and then printing them on my portable printer for journaling.
Go to an art exhibition, museum, or cultural exhibit you’ve never been to.
Attend a comedy show.
Explore street art in your city and document your favourites.
Attend an art workshop, e.g. pottery or paint and sip.
Borrow a book from your local library.
Watch a movie at your local drive-in.
Visit a local winery.
Visit a planetarium.
Go to the cinema.
Go to an opera.
Attend a concert with your favourite artist.
Visit old historical attractions in your area.
Go to an art class.
Visit a new bookstore.

Fun Edition

Read a book outside at a park or in your garden.
Reconnect with your inner child by doing things you used to love as a kid.
Go thrift shopping.
Try a new restaurant or cafe.
Visit a botanical garden.
Play tourist in your town.
Buy yourself flowers.
Visit a local viewpoint.
Explore a new neighbourhood in your city.
Book a night at an Airbnb or hotel.
Have a solo photoshoot. You’ll never look this good at your current age.
Go to a theme park.
Go for a long drive.
Go rollerblading or ice skating.
Book a solo trip somewhere. It doesn’t have to be overseas; it can even be a weekend trip.
Read in a cafe or coffee shop.
Take dance lessons.

Wellness Edition

Get a manicure and/or pedicure.
Take a relaxing bath with candles and music.
Treat yourself to a spa night at home with DIY face masks, a bubble bath, and soothing music.
Book a body or head massage.
Take a walk outside while listening to a podcast.
Treat yourself to a spa day.
Do gentle stretching or yoga. There are lots of free routines online!
Visit a salt room.

Food Edition

Visit your favourite bakery.
Have a picnic at a park.
Order a tasting menu at a restaurant you’ve always wanted to try.
Take yourself out to brunch or dinner with outdoor seating.
Take a cooking or baking class to learn something new.
Visit your local farmer’s market and create a meal using fresh, local ingredients.
Go pick some fruit. My favourite hobby is picking strawberries near my house.
Go on a self-guided food crawl, sampling dishes from different restaurants or food trucks.