I asked strangers about the best things about living alone in their twenties — here’s what they said
small joys, unexpected lessons and secret freedoms about living alone
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isolophilia (n.) A strong appreciation for solitude, the joy of being on one's own
Opening Note
The first time I lived alone, I was 23 years old, thousands of miles from home. A few months after leaving university, I landed a job in South Korea, packed up my entire life, and said goodbye to everything familiar. I moved to Incheon in the midst of a global pandemic—stepping into the unknown with nothing but a suitcase and a restless heart. Was it terrifying? Absolutely. Was it exhilarating? Without question. Would I do it all over again? In a heartbeat.
For as long as I can remember, I had dreamed of living and travelling abroad. I didn’t know when or how it would happen—only that one day, it would. It wasn’t until 2022, after a series of revelations, that I finally found the courage to take the leap. I realised I didn’t want to be trapped in the 9-to-5 grind. I was exhausted from years of studying. And in the midst of the grief of losing my grandma to COVID, I came to understand just how fleeting life truly is.
But let me be clear—quitting university or your job and moving abroad won’t magically solve your problems. It won’t erase your fears, your doubts, or the weight of what you carry. If anything, those things have a way of following you wherever you go. What it will do, however, is reveal exactly what you're capable of.
For most of my life, I was the quiet girl—the one who rarely raised her hand in class, the one who watched from the sidelines as others pursued their dreams. I grew up consuming stories, films, and vlogs about women venturing into the world on their own, carving paths for themselves, daring to chase the lives they wanted. And now, somehow, I had become one of them.
Looking back on my time in Korea, I’ve come to appreciate the profound beauty of living alone—the quiet moments, the unexpected lessons, the small joys that make solitude feel like freedom. I also asked my community to share their own reflections on this experience.
So if you’re reading this, here’s what I’ve learned—secrets, joys, and revelations that make living alone in your twenties an experience like no other.
The Freedom of Your Own Space
The deep intimacy of choosing who enters your home, whose energy is allowed in, and how sacred your space feels because of it.
No longer coming home to someone else’s heavy energy—no more tiptoeing around moods, no more shrinking yourself to fit the emotional weight of another person.
The absolute joy of doing whatever you want, whenever you want. Want to rearrange your furniture at midnight? Blast music while cleaning? Work on a passion project at 2 AM? No one's stopping you.
Your “messes” aren’t messes. They’re simply your things, in your space, where you left them, for as long as you want.
That unspoken warmth when you come home after a tough day and your space feels like it’s been waiting for you—like an unspoken hug.
The Unmatched Peace
The air is free of tension. No one is holding their breath. No energy lingers except the one you create.
The deep exhale that comes with knowing you can just be—without having to manage someone else’s presence or emotions.
Silence. The ability to exist without background noise, unless you choose to fill it.
Coming home from a long day, locking the door behind you, and sinking into the peace of a space that belongs entirely to you.
The unmatched comfort of knowing that if something is out of place, it’s because you put it there.
The Little Joys That Mean Everything
“Girl dinner”—the pure, unbothered freedom of eating popcorn, a bowl of cereal, or a plate of random snacks for dinner just because you can.
No explanations needed. No one to answer to. No “Why are you eating that?” or “Is that all you’re having?” Just you, your cravings, and your choices.
Fresh flowers on the table, not because someone else bought them for you, but because you did.
Music at any hour. Mood lighting, fairy lights, candles, and lamps are arranged exactly how you like them.
Wearing whatever you want (or nothing at all) without a second thought.
Self-Discovery & Personal Growth
The joy of decorating your space without compromise. Paint colours, art, furniture—every single choice is yours. No negotiating, no considering someone else’s taste. Just pure creative expression.
Knowing that every inch of your space reflects you—that candle you placed on the shelf, the way your books are stacked, the cosy chair you curl up in—it’s all yours, intentionally chosen.
The realisation that even if you have a partner one day, you will always have you—your independence, your space, your sense of self.
Watching your home evolve as you evolve—how, at first, it might have felt bare, but over time, it fills with memories, warmth, and little details that make it uniquely yours.
The Luxury of Doing Things on Your Own Terms
The simple pleasure of letting dishes sit in the sink without anyone commenting. They’ll get done—when you decide.
Leaving the dishwasher full for as long as you want, because no one is waiting on you to unload it.
Creating a routine that is entirely your own—no syncing schedules, no accommodating someone else’s habits, just you moving through your day as you please.
Waking up and deciding today, I will do absolutely nothing, and knowing no one is there to judge you for it.
The ridiculous yet joyful realisation that you can sigh dramatically and say, Who keeps making this mess?—only to realise, oh, it’s you. But the best part? You can clean it up... or ignore it indefinitely.
Healing & Embracing Solitude
The quiet magic of a slow morning—making coffee in your favourite mug, listening to the birds outside, sitting in silence, soaking in the peace.
The comfort of dancing around your kitchen while cooking, singing loudly, or simply enjoying your own presence.
How healing it is to live alone after heartbreak—to slowly make a space yours again, to fill it with new memories, to watch yourself rebuild.
Realising that, at first, it felt strange to be alone, but now, solitude feels like home.
Knowing you are capable—fully, entirely, completely capable—of doing life on your own.
The Ultimate Truth
Living alone in your twenties is a gift. It’s the freedom to build a home, a routine, and a life that is uniquely yours.
It’s waking up every morning with the quiet knowledge that you are in charge of your own happiness.
It’s independence, growth, and healing wrapped up in the everyday moments.
It’s realising that this—this peace, this autonomy, this space—was always meant for you.
Feel free to share your thoughts or advice about living alone! I’m hoping it will help others who are navigating this phase of their life.
Living Alone Mood Board
Here’s a collection of photos that summarise what I think living alone feels and looks like.
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